The Sun Comes Shining In My Eyes
by GKingOfFez
Summary: Kanan asks Ezra to describe the sunset to him. It doesn't quite work out that way. Beautiful fluff and father/son bonding.


_I don't know about ya'll but I'm_ _ **really**_ _sad Rebels is ending. So this is something nice._

* * *

The sun was setting over _Chopper Base_. Kanan knew this not because he could see it, but because a dusk chill was starting to creep under his clothes and he could feel the long warm dying fingers of the sun sliding down his mask-less face. He also knew it because Ezra was standing at his shoulder, trying and failing horribly to describe it to him.

"Well really, it's all just a whole lot of orange," Ezra was saying, and Kanan could sense his arms flailing about as if to punctuate his words, the effect, of course, entirely lost on Kanan. "Well, orange and yellows and pinks, but there's also a bit of blue and purpley stuff in there as well. And it's all kind of… _smushed_ in together, really, bluer colours on top and orangey ones on the bottom. What's that word? When more than one colour all blends in together in a line?"

"An ombré?" Kanan supplied helpfully, raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's all an omber thing. Ombré? Ombré's everywhere you look, but the colours are all soft and making everything else like the sand and the rocks look like they're glowing. It's putting all those big plant things in shadow and makes them look bigger and darker and more ominous than they actually are. And that other planet's up there as well, in the blue bit. All blue and shadowy and… big? Is this any good at all?"

"I would say no, but I don't want to hurt your feelings," Kanan replied, turning to grin and bump his shoulder playfully against Ezra's.

Kanan expected a snarky reply, but instead Ezra sighed, long, frustrated and tired. His next words were slightly muffled, as though he'd scrubbed a hand down his face and kept it there.

"I'm _terrible_ at this. You should have asked Sabine to do it, she's the artist. She could probably use all those fancy art words and describe it so good you'd get the perfect image of it all in your head. I'm _useless_."

There was a note of bitterness in Ezra's voice that Kanan recognised immediately. How often over the years had he felt like he wasn't _enough_ , not strong or talented enough to help someone he cared about, even for the smaller things like making Hera the perfect cup of caff on a rough day or describing a simple sunset to someone who couldn't see it.

Ezra sighed again. "It's just so _beautiful_ , Kanan, all the colours are _amazing_. I wish you could see what I'm seeing," Ezra said with such longing in his voice it made Kanan's heart ache.

Besides the shining light of the holocrons, Kanan hadn't seen anything other than impenetrable darkness since he'd lost his sight. He'd made peace with it some time ago and had even found a new and different sight in the Force, but there were occasionally moments he wished he could experience through his own eyes.

Today, the sunset had become one of those moments- he'd found himself earlier that day wistfully regretting the many setting suns that had gone by without proper appreciation in his life before Malachor. That was why he'd dragged Ezra along with him to Zeb's hangout spot (apparently the best place to watch it on the base, or so Zeb bragged), and why they now stood side-by-side in the dying light. Perhaps he _could_ have asked Sabine to accompany him, and maybe he would do just that another day to get her more artistic perspective, but for that evening he had wanted nothing more than to hear Ezra's view.

Kanan reached out and gripped onto his padawan's shoulder. "Okay. How about we come at this from a different angle- forget how it _looks_. How about you tell me how it _feels_."

Ezra shifted under his hand, confused.

"Feels?"

"How does the sunset make you _feel_? When you look at it, what emotions does it evoke?" asked Kanan. "Tell me what you feel… I want to know," he added softly.

He felt Ezra's gaze on him for an extended moment, before it shifted back frontwards. Kanan kept his own sightless stare firmly on where he knew Ezra's face to be.

"It feels… um. Warm? Comforting? But also a little cold, like the warm is being taken away? I mean, it _is_ , but... no, that's _stupid_."

Ezra paused there, clearing his throat, and Kanan knew he was frowning from the tension in his shoulders. The kid stayed silent for long while, long enough that Kanan started to feel the need to try and break the awkwardness that had settled between them.

However, Ezra beat him to the punch.

"It feels different than on Lothal. The sun is warmer here, and there are probably different things in the atmosphere, and obviously there's so much less green in the landscape. But it's still _mostly_ the same, the same colours, anyway. A lot of things are different here, but the oxygen is breathable and I have you guys here with me so it's not bad-different. The sunset feels… well, it _does_ feel comforting to watch. It's soft and bright and hopeful, and- I _feel_ hopeful when I look at it."

Ezra drew in a deep breath and noisily released it before continuing.

"It's like- Kanan, there are so many _terrible_ things out there in the galaxy that want to kill us, but here we are now watching the sun go down and _it's so_ _beautiful_. It makes me feel peaceful, it reminds me that beautiful things still exist in the galaxy, natural things that the Empire can never destroy because it's impossible. That's a good thing to know, that not even the Emperor himself can stop a sunset being beautiful."

Kanan found himself smiling, a swell of pride burgeoning in his chest.

Ezra broke out his reverie with a shake of his head, and barked out a laugh. "Or _maybe_ I'm looking too deep into it. I mean, it is _just_ a sunset. They happen every day on nearly every planet in the galaxy."

Kanan knitted his eyebrows together and turned his head away. Behind his eyes, there was nothing but blackness. The sun could be dancing a cantina dance and drunkenly sauntering towards the horizon for all he knew. It was a big galaxy, who's to say that couldn't happen.

"Not for me," he whispered.

There was a heavy silence. He couldn't tell what Ezra was thinking, but he knew his words had upset him.

Ezra's next words were tentative.

"Do… do you want me to show you how it makes me feel? Might be better than me trying to explain it with words, anyway. You don't have to say yes if you don't want to." He laughed awkwardly. "Actually, you know what, forget I said anything, never mind. It's stupid."

Kanan considered the offer, reaching up to stroke at his beard. It was a kind proposition to be sure. Immediately, he thought of turning it down. There was no point in an exercise where he would only feel envious that he couldn't experience a feeling for himself, and besides, it wasn't fair for him to try and live vicariously through Ezra.

But that other part of Kanan, the part that wistfully missed sunsets, rainbows and Hera Syndulla (also known as _The Most Beautiful Sights In The Entire Galaxy_ ) ached for it with all the fierceness of an exploding supernova.

The second part won out, and he sighed, nodding. "Actually, I'd like that very much, Ezra. But only as a one-time deal, there's no point in making it a habit. That wouldn't be good for either of us."

Kanan felt a hand touch his shoulder and then an arm reach around his back and grip onto his waist. He obliged by lifting his own arm up and completely wrapping it around Ezra's shoulders, locking their sides together, before allowing his padawan to direct both their attentions to the space in front of them.

"Open yourself to the Force," Kanan instructed. "We are all connected by it, you and I most especially. Find me in the waves of energy that surrounds us, and forge the connection so I can see what you feel. You're good at connection, Ezra, I know you can do it." Kanan wasn't exactly sure when this had turned into a lesson.

The warmth was starting to fade with earnest from the air, the sunset probably fading with it. Ezra nodded in understanding and began slowing down his breaths to a meditative pattern. Kanan mirrored him, closing his eyelids out of habit more than anything else.

They stood there breathing in unison for a short while.

At first the feeling was slight, approaching timidly through the ebb and flow of the Force, and Kanan opened himself up to its embrace eagerly. Suddenly, he was swept up in a tide of _feeling_ ; it was warm and tingly, and safe. _Hopeful_ , like Ezra had said, and awash with the feelings of soft bright colours- blues and oranges, pinks and purples. Kanan felt almost overwhelmed by how _beautiful_ the feeling was. He missed sunsets like a long lost old friend. He missed a lot of things he'd never be able to see again.

As quickly as it had come, Ezra's sunset receded back into the folds of the Force, and Kanan was almost surprised to find himself back on Atollon, Ezra on his side and Zeb's hideout of stacked crates and chairs behind him.

"Kanan? Kanan, is that okay, was that too much?" Ezra asked, voice thick and concerned.

Kanan chuckled, feeling warm all over despite the bite of cold in the air. "No, it's fine," he said breathily, "Ezra, _thank you_ for that."

"You're welcome."

Ezra sniffled quietly, and Kanan felt him furtively try to reach for his face. He probably thought he was being sneaky about it, but Kanan knew without needing to see that Ezra was crying. He gave the boy's shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"It's okay. You're right, you know. The Empire will _never_ be able to take things like this from us. They can't take our hope, no matter what they do."

Kanan turned towards and reached around with his spare hand to ruffle at Ezra's short, slicked back hair, before gently cupping the boy's cheek. He used his thumb to wipe a tear away. Ezra ducked his head, probably in embarrassment, but didn't push away Kanan's hand by any means.

They both turned back frontwards and stood there for a few minutes, until Kanan could feel the last rays of sunlight travelling down his legs towards his toes. The approaching night time had most likely already dulled the bright hues of the sunset, so Kanan shifted his attention to merely enjoying half-hug that neither Ezra nor he had yet broken off from.

The sun must have been gone completely over the horizon by the time Ezra suggested they head back. Kanan didn't see it, but he felt it in the chill in the air and heard it in the chattering of Ezra's teeth.

"Thank you," he said again as they headed back. He imagined Ezra grinning in response.

* * *

 _This started with just wanting to have Kanan wipe away Ezra's tears, and for some reason it became something beautiful instead of angsty like all the other fics I've written?_

 _An alternate title for this fic is 'Fucking Nerds Watch The Sunset And Cry Like Losers And It's Really Cliché'._

 _(Psst. I posted a really angst fic on my AO3 account (same username). Ezra dies and it's really terrible for everyone. You should go read it.)_


End file.
